Yo, Plait?

Yoplait yogurt is by far the best yogurt at the grocery store. This stuff is legen-dairy, and here is why.

Reason One: Flavors
They have the best, most fruity flavors. I want a yogurt where I can distinguish between strawberry and cherry--not just different hues of pink. To be honest, I want big hunkin' chunks of strawberries and cherries in my yogurt. Yeah, hunkin' chunks. I want the raspberry seeds caught between my teeth. I want the options of creative flavors. Harvest Peach. Lemon Burst. Strawberry Cheesecake. Cherry Orchard. Mixed Berry. And not to mention Key Lime Pie. KEY LIME PIE!!! End of story. Done deal.

Reason Two: Stirredness
Pre-stirred, baby. The fruit is mixed, spread, permeated, and dispersed. Why the heck would I voluntarily want to exercise my yogurt? I am not paying for a workout. Yoplait is the cliff notes of yogurt, it cuts right to the point. Jump on in, the water's fine.

Reason Three: Foil Lid
Yeah, that foil lid IS a little cocky, isn't it? It ticked me off a little at first, but in time I've grown to like it. I like my yogurt to have an edge; yogurt with a 'tude. As far as packaging goes, the foil lid makes little sense compared to a plastic lid. Yogurt is a viscous, sugary, sticky semi-liquid that spoils. To me, a thin, easily puncturable barrier makes little sense. It's like selling gasoline-filled water balloons or Dixie cups full of Brut cologne.

But I've seen the light. The foil lid and tapered shape are what visually distinguish Yoplait. It's like the yogurt with bling. And here's something I learned about the foil lid: You can use it as a spoon! In times of need (I don't know, camping? hiking? soccer camp?) you can fold the lid into a scoop shape. A plastic lid can't do that. Just be careful with your fillings.