Monday, December 04, 2006

Back to the Furniture, Part II

Yesterday, Nick blogged about a promotional opportunity he missed out on. A local furniture company said they would refund your $2000+ furniture purchase if UCLA beat USC. And UCLA did end up beating USC. Looks like the promotion backfired on them.

My advice to Nick is this: Nick, follow a similar action to that of Biff in Back to the Future, Part II. Buy a "2006-2007 Furniture Sales and Promotions Almanac," travel back to last weekend, and slip it to the "November 2006" Nick.

I guess it doesn't really matter when you do it... today, tomorrow, fifty years from now... the older and creepier you are, the better. And while you're back in the past, slip one to the "November 2006" Giraffe as well. I won't recognize you because you'll be old and creepy and have a hover-wheelchair, but just mention that it's like Biff in BTTF2, and I'll know what you're talking about.

I guess this somewhat general advice really applies to all of you readers. In the future, when we get to the point where we have flying cars, hover skateboards, automaticly drying jackets, 3D hologramic Jaws movie marquees, and most-importantly time machines, you should look for obsure almanacs to give to your younger self. And a younger Giraffe.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Seven Thoughts

Seven thoughts to think about this weekend:

1. I live in Northwest Portland. The sanitation truck that picks up the recycling in my neighborhood is from “Eastside Recycling.” Eastside Recycling. Northwest Portland. Way to have neighborhood pride, Northwest Portland. Way to keep it local. I’m going to try and see what company picks up my garbage, but if it says Salem Sanitation, I’m going to move.

2. My dogs don’t understand holidays. Last week, Barkley was playing with a Halloween-themed dog toy. Come on Barkley, totally wrong holiday. Ghosts are October. Turkeys are November. Santas are December. Get it straight.

3. As much as I would like the job, I don't think I could ever be a SportsCenter anchor. I just don't think I could handle wearing a jacket and tie, every single day.

5. Do FedEx delivery drivers hate UPS drivers, and vice versa? Like, is it like a gang war? And where does DHL fit into all of this? Nobody likes their stupid yellow trucks anyways.

6. Is it wrong that I want to be in the New Jersey mafia or maybe even be a drug dealer in Baltimore?... Can you tell that I’ve been watching a lot of DVDs of The Sopranos and The Wire.

7. You know that guy with the movie trailer voice? I mean, the guy with the voice? He does all the good ones... “In a word without hope... One man... One chance... Against all odds... ” You know, that guy? Well, when is he going to die? I really want that job.