Friday, April 21, 2006

Do the Dew

I'm not sure if the Easter Bunny reads my blog, but he (or she) heard my calls. I am happy to report that I did not receive Peeps! Or for that matter, one Peep! I got the standard Easter basket contents: Cadbury egg, egg-shaped gum, a giant hollow chocolate bunny, robin's eggs... But one odd thing I also received in my easter basket was this:

Axe "Recovery" Shower Gel. Not sure if the Easter Bunny thinks I need to control my B.O., but it was a nice gesture whatever the intention. What I found interesting was the particular scent of "Recovery" Axe Gel.

It smells exactly like Mountain Dew! Seriously, it does. It actually even LOOKS like a gel Mountain Dew hybrid. I checked the back to look to see if Dew was a direct ingredient, but no luck. The coloring chemicals in Axe are Green 3 and Yellow 5... was that the "Yellow" all of us middle school boys feared? Maybe it was Yellow 4? Anyways...

Axe's advertising has always been the "sex sells" strategy. You remember, "THE AXE EFFECT"--the whole "Call me Bonnie--Axe isn't responsible for your girlfriend's friends, girlfriend's mom, girlfriend's mom's friends, or any other combination of the words girl, mom, and/or friend..." thing. Axe is the spray-on hot chick magnet, blah blah blah. So this gets me thinking--
What is up with this Mountain Dew Smell?

Look at this image. Step 1: Shower. Step 2: Hot chicks. Plural. Two. Two hot chicks. It's that simple fellas.

Have hot chicks liked this Mountain Dew smell all these years, and nobody knew? Maybe a select few dudes did know, but they held onto this insider info for as long as possible? Should I stop ordering Jack and Cokes at the bars? Should I switch to Jack and Dew? Maybe the female readers of this blog (if there are any?) can help us out? Please explain this primal scent attraction to The Dew? And is it ALL women, or just HOT CHICKS?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Radioactive Bunnies

Easter is coming up, and I have a statement to make. Ah hem. Ah hem.

I hate Peeps. Neon marshmallow animals are nasty.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Crystal Ball

I don't know if anyone else is interested in futures bets, but the Oregon Ducks are blowing up at 80-1 odds to win the 2007 BCS Championship. That means that my $6 online sportsbook bet could net me a cool $480 come January.

I also have 15-1 odds on Elliott Yamin to win American Idol, although I hedged it with a 5-2 bet on Katharine McPhee.

Just FYI.