Monday, December 12, 2005

Back with a Vengeance

Three topics for you today.

Rhymefest
First is an advance warning on a cd that doesn’t come out until March. The rappers name is Rhymefest. He’s friends with Kanye. I downloaded his single off of iTunes called “Brand New.” Listen to it. It’s similar to Kanye’s style. Sampled, light (not aggressive rap), clever rhymes:

Now some women hit the mall and some shop at the thrift store
Some of 'em mix and match and make it look like they get more
Some of y'all know you wear a sixteen - squeezin' into a six
Damn - what you make them jeans rip for?

He actually wrote part (most?) of Kanye’s “Jesus Walks,” which was arguably the hit off the first cd that sent ‘Ye into every white boy and girl’s mp3 collection. (Yes there were a few white boys like me who had him back in 2003. Jolly, too.) But I just find it odd for a rapper to have a ghostwriter. I mean, I know that Whitney, Mariah, Britney, heck even The Spice Girls didn’t write all they’re lyrics (Ashlee Simpson does, which is why her lyrics are trite, but that’s another blog). But most rappers have the whole “feat. Jay-Z” thing where they let the other guy have a verse on the song. But Rhymefest hid in the shadow on a huge song and let Kanye sing and take credit for the rhymes. I mean Ryhme got a Grammy and didn’t sing or even have a recording contract! Ah well, now Kanye’s hooking him up. S’all good as long as everyone gets paid.


#64
Hey guys I don’t mean to brag, but I’m the 64th best blog in Portland. Or maybe I do mean to brag. Ha, anyways, I have no idea what this site really is, but JJ found it searching for me on google. Maybe a better question is why my roommate is internet-stalking me…


Drink it Down
Okay so I have a business proposition. Although I have no market knowledge, no funding, and no bottling/distribution/promotion connections, I want to create, bottle, and sell a new specialty liquor. I’m thinking a very high end, smooth whiskey. What’s the name of my whiskey you ask?… Confidence. Confidence in a bottle.



So next time you’re at a bar, and you’re eyeing an attractive lady but you're a little too timid, walk up to the bartender and say, “I’ll have a shot of Confidence!” Pour it. Pound it. And go talk to her, Andy.

13 comments:

JJ said...

Stalking...come on now...I told you I was reflecting back on your educational post about giraffe's and I was searching giraffe's and you popped up! lol Congrats on being #64 in Portland! LOL...Bitch!

messa said...

Congrats!!! However, if you keep mentioning Jolly on your blog, you're going to fall out of the top 500 real fast like.

For your new liquor, you need to come up with a clever signature drink, like Confidence and Jaeger and call it a "Confidence Booster" or "Liquid Courage" or something equally as cheesey/cool. Whatever you call it, I'll have 2.

"lbnvma"

J-Mon said...

Will you still feed me? Will you still need me? when you're 64?

More giraffe more often take those p-town bloggers down!

"#150inMO"

holland said...

no comment here.

The Mysterious Mike Houston said...

number sixty four is dope! it's a square number which i love.

Marla said...

Are you and Kanye, like, boyz or something? You know everything about the man :)

Also, this is HILARIOUS:

http://www.golddigger.com/

Giraffe said...

Marla, Question #1 Why are the picures all illustrated? They are real women aren't they.

And Question #2 Why do you know about this website? Is there some other reason you live in the deep-pockets city of Washington?

Anonymous said...

Holla back youngins'! Hey there! It's Mickey from the good old Emerald here! Andy showed me your blogs. I must say, I am impressed. Nice job on calling Big 'A' out. I see him scrambling for the first bottle of Confidence already. I'll be an investor. Where do I sign? How are you doing?

messa said...

"The mission of CashCats.com is simply to provide our CashCats and Cashkittens with the hottest, hippest, and richest dating service on the planet, where "Only the Hot!" and "Only the Rich!" are accepted."

AWESOME!!!

"IpayForSex"

Marla said...

Nothin' pays the bills like turning tricks on the lap of the Lincoln Memorial... I kid, I kid...

J-Mon said...

cash cats... where i am not just a member... i am the president.

"ypaywhenitisfree"

messa said...

Jolly...just wondering...which category do you fit into, "Only the Rich!" or "Only the Hot!"...I can't quite figure it out.

"NJpays4poon"

Hollster said...

So yah... your bottle of Confidence looks vaguely similar to a bottle of Corzo I ordered for our previous employers... Hope all is well. How's the job hunt?