Monday, January 16, 2006

A Declaration

Today is a holiday, and I want to make a declaration. Just get something off my chest. I’m just going to put it out there.

There is only one good type of peanut butter and it is CHUNKY.
If you like creamy, then you suck. There is no good reason for creamy to exist.

Here are some excuses that Creamy supports might try to argue with, but don’t be fooled. These are not valid reasons for Creamy.

* I’m using it for baking
* I recently had my wisdom teeth removed
* I’m an old person, with dentures, and I can’t chew those crunchy little peanuts

Note that these aren't reasons, these are excuses. And it sounds like a bunch of bull to me.

For those of you believers out there, I want to not only show support for the Chunky community, but also lead you down another path. Yes, some say it’s a little too radical, too extremist, too controversial, but I’ve been doing it for years, and I’m doing just fine.

There's a whole world out there you have yet to experience, but don't worry. I'm here to open the door. These four words will probably change your life:

EXTRA CRUNCHY SUPER CHUNK

5 comments:

J-Mon said...

Better believe I am/have been on this bandwagon!!!!

SUPER CHUNK 4 LIFE

AH said...

anything with chunk in it is good for me. except old milk. that's just gross.

Nick said...

I'm disgusted. This bandwagon should be abandoned now! Peanut better was meant to be smooth. You want chunky, watch contestants on The Biggest Loser.

Anonymous said...

Chunky is better. I agree. You should try Adam's Peanut Butter. De-LISH.

AH said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.