Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Who could hate Shaun White? Me.

How good is it to be Shaun White right now? This kid is blowing up. He’s not even 20, and he’s at the top of his game. He’s bigger than Jack White, bigger than Barry White, bigger than Reggie White, and even bigger than E.B. White (Shout out to Templeton: What up, rat!). He has mad endorsements. I’ve recently seen him on two commercials: HP laptops and SportsCenter. He’s in video games. He has a clothing line. He has eight X Games metals and an Olympic Gold Metal (2006 Winter Halfpipe). He’s a hero, or at least a roll model, to today’s youth. And on top of all this, he seems like a genuinely nice and grounded kid.



So is it wrong for me to hate him? Why do I ask? Because I do.

I hate his hair. I hate his smile. I hate the way he spells his name Shaun and not Shawn or Sean. I hate his clothing line. I hate his myspace page. I hate when he rides switch (goofy if he’s snowboarding). I hate that he listens to music while he does halfpipe. I hate that he is trying to one-up Tony Hawk’s 900 by attempting a 1080 in competition. I don’t hate his voice, but I do hate his post-competition interviews. I hate his nickname “Flying Tomato,” but I hear that he hates the nickname too, so maybe I like it, not sure on that one yet. I hate that he probably doesn’t hate me. I hate his sponsors, unless they want to throw me some free gear. On second though, I do hate his voice.

Why do I hate Shaun White? I don’t know. I don’t think I can give you a definitive answer. Maybe because he is successful at such a young age. Maybe I’m jealous because I never made it big in extreme/alternative sports. Maybe because I think he looks weird. I remember when he was cute little kid. Now he has Olsen Twin Syndrome, where puberty kicks in and you aren’t that cute anymore (sorry Mary Kate, but it’s true). Right now, I might have a hard time picking him out of a police lineup with Carrot Top and Rocky, that guy from the Cher movie, Mask. Yes, that’s mean, but it’s true.




I guess I just feel that it’s wrong that he’s on top of the world. Shaun White can do no wrong. Everyone loves him. Think of the worst thing he could do, and he wouldn’t get in trouble. The worst thing ever. He could like, skate up to the Vatican, stab the Pope in the back with a pocketknife, do an ollie, skate away, and not get in trouble. He’d probably even get a new sponsor out of the event, like Leatherman or something. In fact, they’d probably name a trick after the whole thing. You’d see highlights on SportsCenter later that night: the “Backside No-Pope,” invented by Shaun White. Scott VanPelt says, “Shaun White, with powers comparable to Wonderboy!!!” and then Stu Scott throws in a “Boo-yah!”

I wonder if I’m the only one who feels this way. Maybe so. I might search to see if there is a anti-fan page, or a hate site or something. And Shaun, don't worry. I'm not crazy or a stalker, and I would never "Backside No-Pope" you. The whole blog was a little cathartic, and who knows how I'll feel about you in a few years (when you stop winning metals). And seriously, Burton, Birdhouse, MountainDew, Sony, Oakley, T-Mobile, if any of y’all want to send some gear my way, I might consider changing my beliefs and/or opinions on this blog subject and maybe other topics, too. The Giraffe can be bought.

24 comments:

AH said...

You are a hatefull person.

fostvedtm said...

no man, I feel the same way. I have a group on facebook, "I hate shaun white". People ask me why and I just can't explain it. I heard he's kinda a dick if you see him not on T.V. I did see him at x-games and I got like smashed up against a wall by one of his body guards so that he could have his royal path through. And when he's walking by, he has that innocent smile on like, "I don't want any of this to happen..."
I like the more low profile pros like Andreas Wiig, Eddie Wall, Wyatt Caldwell (Wyatt used to be my baseball coach in little league so I'm kinda biased towards that)because they'll be chill with you and actually count you as a person. So thats why I hate Shaun White.

word said...

And I hate you. How about be successful and do something with yourself. Rather then bash an amazing person. You are low.

Miranda said...

Burtons 2007/2008 Team Video, “Thanks In Advance”, is out featuring Shaun White and the rest of the Burton team having adventures in the North Cascades, Winter Park and Mt. Baker.
Thanks In Advance and over 100 other snowboard vids can be purchased online at http://www.AllyVideo.com

Anonymous said...

Shawn White,
Will You Marry Me?
Love,Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

I've met him.
You are right to hate him.

Anonymous said...

I just hate how the favor him.
He gets first place even when he doesn't deserve it.
Here's a funny article I read about that very thing...
http://brooklyninvegas.com/?p=32

Anonymous said...

Ok so like I have met shaun and he is a great guy. You just hate him cuz he is on top. So he is famous. Would you post something like this on one of you friends that's a dick. I think not so, maybe you should just get over whatever sort of problem you have go cry about or something. So well I have said it. Have a great day. NOT!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Fugly he is

RT Koenig said...

I hate him too. Hope he breaks his face tonight. Corporate pimp

Anonymous said...

I hate him because hes just too good! Gold medal again? come on Shaun. anyone who pushes the limits and succeeds deserves to be hated. Lets all frown on those who do well in life.

Anonymous said...

I hate him cause I'm jealous.

He was bread to be an athlete. His parents home schooled him. He skateboarded and snowboarded and trained everyday since he could walk. He can't be a well rounded person. Simply because he would have no social interaction. He's probably the most awkward person ever. He travels with his family. They don't let him out of their palm.

Anonymous said...

i dont like him his OWN teamate fell on the half pike and he didnt even care he was chearing atleast keep it to yourself shaun Scotty all the way

Anonymous said...

Because Shaun White doesn't snowboard for the love of it, he snowboards for the fame and attention- why else would you cry if you lose at a competition? He's not nearly as respected in the snowboard community as other, ie Travis Rice, and all the other pro snowboarders hate him too. Why do you think he is never in any board vids that come out every year?

Anonymous said...

Hi,

Shaun White is amazing.

Thank you.(:

Anonymous said...

Here's why I hate Shaun White. His new trick is named Double McTwist. The only reason he added the "Mc" is to get corporate sponsorship from McDonald's. Enough already!!!

Anonymous said...

He called it McTwist because it was originally named after Mike McGill...the inventor of the McTwist in skateboarding..BONES BRIGADE!..oh and i hate shaun white too....and all these rich kids who get to live on the mountain growing up and then want you to praise them when they're good at snowboarding!

an american soldier said...

To hate this evil ginger named shaun white is right and just. He is what is wrong with society today. He knows nothing of life and responsibility, working for what you have. Being born with the ability to slide around in the snow and spin around does not make you better than anyone. Yet you can see it in his stupid face, that he believes this, yes he does, believe this to be truth. We the largely mediocre society who were not handed everything in life see this, and we refuse to accept it, and hate is all that is left. I spit on shaun white, and his horrible grin, and terrible hair, and spindly limbs, and smug demeanor. Die shaun white. Die.

Anonymous said...

his stupid face

Anonymous said...

shaun white is sexy! And he has like a million gold medals, so dont hate too much!!!

Anonymous said...

Hate is a strong word..... Not strong enough to describe how much I dislike him. All I'm going to say is being pro doesn't automatically make you a nice guy. I'm pro and can say there are more then one reason why carrot top isn't in vids. And no, pros do not respect him that says something all on it's own.

He can rip, he's just a punk and he knows it

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Anonymous said...

I HATE THAT MOTHER-FUCKING, DAMN FLAG-WAVING PATRIOT TOO! I HATE THAT EVERY TIME HE'S IN THE OLYMPICS, HE HAS TO GET GOLD!!! (PERSONALLY, I THINK THE ONLY REASON HE WINS IS BECAUSE HE'S AN AMERICAN AND AMERICANS ARE ALWAYS FAVORED BY THE JUDGES!!) LET OTHER COUNTRIES WIN ALREADY!!! I HOPE HE DIES IN AN "ACCIDENT" IN SOCHI!!! "(inhales) thank you.

Alexxis Bacackman said...

Why the hell would you hate someone because they don't spell there name the "common way" it just makes him unique. I guess you hate me too because instead of spelling my name "Alexis" I spell it "Alexxis". Actually, you should really hate Shaun Whites parents for giving and spelling his name that way. And what the hell did his amazing hair ever do to you? Why do you hate his smile? Whats so bad about it? You hate him because he is better then you, and more successful. he is also hotter, and more sexy than you. Your just a hater, and Shaun White doesn't take the time to read dumb ass posts like yours. So, I don't know what the point in posting this was. And why hate that he listens to music, it's not like he ever said you had too. Don't blame him because he is young and successful. And bitch he is cute weather he is young or not. An he would get in trouble for ALL of that. He was arrested last year! Your just a hateful person. But Shaun White doesn't care about you, or your stupid post. Haters gonna hate, and Shaun White won't care.