Friday, June 23, 2006

GrapeNuts and Bird Piss

They might as well call GrapeNuts cereal PixieGold, or UnicornFarts or RainbowFruit. Because those words are just a descriptive of the cereal as are the words "grape" and "nuts."

I was very dissapointed by the lies that Post Cereal includes in the naming of its cereal. GrapeNuts tastes neither like grapes, nor nuts. I don't think grapes and nuts are even ingredients in the cereal, which is total BS. A proper description of GrapeNuts cereal is this--CrunchySawdust. Taste and texture. CunchySawdust. I heard that is was the healthiest cereal, and now I know why. Because there isn't much fat, sugar, or any other "bad things" in sawdust.

Hey! Here's an idea! What if there was a cereal like Lucky Charms except instead of sugar marshmallow shapes it was different colors and flavors of jello jigglers? That would be awesome. And we could call it Jigglers. But we would have no affiliating with Jiggles Exotic Dancing in Wilsonville, or any strip club named Jiggles for that matter. It's a children's cereal, come on now. But wouldn't that be a fun cereal? Little jello cubes!

Do birds pee? I thought about this after a bird shit on my windshield. I've many times had birds shit on my car. But I've never seen a bird pee on cars.

I've seen a bird shit on a person while we were all standing outside for a fire drill in high school. I've killed two birds with the throw of a single rock, true story. But I've never seen a bird pee.


AH said...

Just as an FYI, Original and fruity Pebbles don't taste like actual pebbles either.

What was with that cryptic comedian email? I'm going to be very upset if Dane Cook comes out on top.

Giraffe said...

it's not a poll or a contest. nobody's coming out on top. the hope is to share names of unknown comedians so we can all find some new funny guys, or gals.

unknown, or little known. dane cook sold out. he's funny as hell, but he's sold.

messa said...

I vote for UnicornFarts

Your favorite girl ever :) said...

Try the Grape Nuts Trail Mix... you will like it.